Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Sam Jackson to Head Rainbow Coalition

CHICAGO – In a move many heralded as long overdue, actor Samuel L. Jackson was today named the new Chairman of the Rainbow Coalition, a movement that had it's greatest notoriety during the reign of the Reverend Jesse Jackson.

The Coalition's board cited Jackson's "ability to bring people together" and "superb communication skills" as the major factors in picking him for this leadership post.

"Am I gonna do a good job? F&*% yeah I am," said Jackson at his introductory press conference. "I'll get everyone together and say look, stop f*%@ing around. Its about the motherf*%@kin children and sh*t!"

Reporters questioned Jackson's qualifications and were quickly rebuked: "I'm qualified to put my mother*%@ing foot up your mother*%@ing ass!"

The Rev Jesse Jackson weighed in from a stop in Atlanta: "I will support Sam in the House. I will support Sam with a mouse. I do - I do like Sam."

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Correctamundo!

Anonymous said...

This is a tasty burger.

Anonymous said...

ENGLISH MOTHER FUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!

Anonymous said...

Normally, both your asses would be dead as fucking fried chicken, but you happen to pull this shit while I'm in a transitional period so I don't wanna kill you, I wanna help you.

Anonymous said...

Shit, Negro, that's all you had to say!

Anonymous said...

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.