Thursday, June 22, 2006

Bush Declares "Mission Accomplished" in the World Cup

NUREMBURG, Germany – President Bush greeted an overflow crowd in Germany today at the World Cup, where he delivered a message of assurance and confidence: "Mission Accomplished!"

Appearing before perplexed American fans, Bush announced: "Major soccer operations in Germany have ended. In the Battle of the World Cup, the United States and our allies have prevailed. And now our team is engaged in securing and reconstructing itself. "

As fans stared siliently, Bush proclaimed "Mission Accomplished!" He then turned to U.S. coach Bruce Arena and shouted: "Brucey, You're doing a heck of a job!"

When asked about his comments later by a reporter aboard Air Force One, Bush said "Look, our boys have obviously finished what it was they were doing there, so thats a mission accomplished. You see, when you 'accomplish' something that means its over."

When told by the reporter that the U.S. lost the match 2 to 1, Bush said, "that sounds like fuzzy math to me."

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

He wants to bury our dead in filing cabinets.

Anonymous said...

Neat and cheap!

Anonymous said...

The ball is round.

Anonymous said...

The game lasts 90 minutes.

Anonymous said...

Who's that slut?