Bush's Father's Day Gift: WWIII

CRAWFORD, Texas – President Bush today called out sons everywhere by offering his father what is likely the biggest Father's Day gift ever - World War III.

"Plans are underway..." the President announced at a family gathering at the Crawford ranch. According to sources, Bush was positvely gleeful, pronouncing "I know that the Iraq war, well that was some gift. And then that other year we gave him Sadaam - straight outta a hole like a jackalope. It took me a while to figure out how to top it. But it turned out one thing led to another - this thing has a mind of it's own.

"Ya see, this gift of mine - it's like a Lionel train set. Once ya get the tracks and a locomotive - heh - darn if ya don't want all them other cars too. So my dad - he needs them other cars. And maybe some trees - some trees and a county store."

Bush Senior was described as overwhelmed by the gesture. When reached for comment tonight in Texas, the former President was clearly moved: "Not since, I dunno, Pharoah times or maybe one o them Hunns from back there when they had em over there - not since that has a pappa been so proud. Touched, really. I told him, please don't go to all the fuss. But you know George Jr, once he sets his mind to somethin theres no stoppin him."

One voice of discontent was allegedly Bush son and Florida Govenor Jeb. One ranch employee told AFG: "He's PISSED. All he would talk about was how George is just showing off and at this rate Jeb was gonna have to drain and drill the Everglades if he's ever gonna compete."

Bill Cosby was unavailable for comment.