"My friends, there are a lot of different ways to look at things," the Senator held forth.
"Like the economy for instance. Whereas some see this as a recession or a slow down, I like to look at it as a nice long nap. In that sense, it's rejuvenating. Refreshing even, especially if you have some Gold Bond medicated powder around.
My friends, I'd choose that over actual gold bonds, by the way. There's a tip for you. Oh, and they even have it in cream form now, I was just informed.
And I'm sure that we'll see an upswing in sales of sleep aides - there's a growth business. See, we're already on the road to recovery. That's what I mean when I say sound fundamentals."
When questioned if he was saying negative growth in the economy was a good thing, the Senator seemed annoyed. "Look, I know it always works wonders for me. I take several naps a day and you don't hear me complaining, do you? I rest my case, my friends."
McCain childhood friend Rip Van Winkle was unavailable for comment.