Bush Recommends Supporters "Seek High Ground"

PASCAGOULA, Miss. – Republican supporters in Florida, Louisiana, and other Gulf Coast states were treated to an urgent pre-taped call from the President Saturday night. The call was made by an automated system out of Texas from noon until 9 PM.

"This is your President...", the message began. "As one of my strongest supporters, you have earned a special place in my heart. And you've earned a reward. And here it is - insider information. Top secret stuff - y'know, that only the deciders get to know. "

Bush then revealed the warning he had decided to share.

"There's a storm comin. A hurricane. Maybe a couple even. Apparently there's a 'season'. A storm season. And you need to know - it's started. SO, my advice - before the other folks find out - is to, um, seek the high ground. Get on up there. Seek it. Like the Scriptures say, 'seek and thout shall find," or somethin', and that's what I'm saying. Seek that high ground and you'll, you'll find it."

There was then a brief sound of clattering and barking - apparently Bush had called for one of the White House pets in the midst of the taping.

"Good dog! Good boy! Yes - who's a good first dog, huh? Who's the leader of the free, um, dog world?"

Bush then returned to the message: "In closing, should a hurricane occur, you know you can count on state and local officials. We've got a lot more body bags ready this time."