Illegal Immigrants To U.S.: "Let's Just Be Friends."

CORPUS CHRISTI, TX – Members of what is a growing majority of illegal immigrants gathered today to stage a demonstration at the city's INS offices. This new majority is one that does not desire citizenship - or even permanent residence.

"We're here to say, thanks, but no thanks." explained Raul Picante, who described himself as "just passing through."

"Enough is enough - everyone talking about whether we should stay or go, if we should get citizenship or not... I'll tell you what, don't worry about it. It's time we moved on. We can still talk and stuff."

The dissent was indicitive of a mood that is spreading throughout states heavily populated by illegal immigrants. U.S. Citizens on the scene engaged in a lively debate with the gathering. One such exchange between Texan George Davis and one Jesus DeJesus went like this:

Davis: Go back to Mexico!

DeJesus: Ok.

Davis: What?

DeJesus: I said ok.

Davis: I told you to leave!

DeJesus: And I am.

Davis: No, I mean...

DeJesus: I'm going to leave.

Davis: You can't stay!

DeJesus: I don't want to.

Davis: Grrrgggaaaggg (drools...)

What followed was a complete breakdown of comprehension as locals struggled to come to terms with the concept that anyone wouldn't want to live there.

Corpus Christi's Katie Swingington weighed in:

"Who do they think they are? What makes them think that they can come here and then leave? It's one thing when we want 'em to leave - and by God we do - but at the same time what the heck's so all-fire good about someplace like Mexico? Do they think that Chablis (sic) fella is gonna give 'em all free oil?"

"Rita", an illegal immigrant, disagreed: "Look, it's been fun, and sure, I've been the best you've ever had. We both know it. But you just couldn't commit. And now that I'm leaving, you're sad. But we can still be friends. And if sometime you want great sex, food that isn't bland or music that makes you want to stick a hot pepper up your ass and f*&k till dawn, now you can come visit me in Mexico instead. Just call ahead, Ok?"

When asked what Americans should do if they don't want to "live in filth", "Rita" added, "That's SO your problem now."

Davis, who spoke to us through an interpreter from Middle state North Carolina, was non-plussed: "What even gives these folks the right to speak out? Freedom. That's right. And when they're back down wherever they'll see what it's like to not have freedom. Let's see what they think when they are doing what Sadaam Ricardo tells them to do."