Bush To Deaf Man: "Im Talkin' To You, Dumb Ass!"

WASHINGTON DC - The Rose Garden would have taken on a Marx Brothers air today if not for the ensuing tempest that ensued after the President mistook a deaf man's behavior for disrespect or indifference.

"Yeah, you. Hey, you! Yeah, you - you, dammit, you!" President Bush shouted as the press corps looked on shocked, the man oblivious all the while.

The man in question was Miami Patriot reporter Sam Koppler who is legally deaf. The incident began when the reporter - who was trying to get his closed caption tv screen to function - was asked by Bush what his problem was. The reporter ignored Bush for reasons that were clear to everyone - except the President who seemed to be annoyed with Koppler's preoccupation with the tv screen.

"Hey. Hey Buddy - I'm talkin to you dumb ass!" Bush shouted. "Y'know, if you're wantin' to watch the World Cup or whatever, well, I'm sure my friend Tony Blair, well, I'm sure he can help ya out. They like that stuff, you know, that stuff, over there in, um, Limey-land, heh heh - I mean England."

Ironically, the reporter's hearing was lost in a hunting accident with current Vice President Cheney in 1998. At the time, Cheney claimed he had instructed Koppler to "duck". Koppler stated that he thought Cheney was identifying a target.

White House Communications Director Nicolle Wallace issued an apology on behalf of the President, stating that he "regrets the incident" and that "if he'd known Koppler was deaf he would have yelled louder."