WASHINGTON DC - After last week's latest Senator McCain face growth activity, the mole in question has come forth to set the record straight. And according to the mole, he's the one that had the surgery.
When reached for comment, he expressed his relief.
"Damn straight I had that thing removed. You don't know what it's like, knowing everyone is looking at you and hyper aware of it. Plus the noises it would make. You never knew what kind of embarrassment it would bring."
Asked what's next, the mole revealed that he is now dating a fellow liberated mole, this one from Sex in The City star Sarah Jessica Parker, and that they plan to start a reality tv show together called "The Real Moles of Washington DC."
"She's not ready to face the public yet," the mole explained. "She spent a lifetime drowning in thick make up - she's glad to be free at last. But we'll be debuting on MTV in the fall."
Toad of Toad Hall and Ratty refused to comment on this story.