Mel Gibson Swears to Offend Entire Muslim World

MALIBU, California - The increasingly insane Mel Gibson today announced he will pay a personal pennance for recent anti-Jewish remarks by rededicating himself to offending Muslims everywhere just as badly.

"This is the least I can do. God told me - this is your spiritual community service," said Gibson.

Gibson plans to tell the "true" story of Lawrence Of Arabia, "a story of a cultured, Christian man driven to hedonism and homosexuality by dirty Arabs."

Gibson explained that Lawrence' rape at the hands of Turkish prison officials will be shot on 64 camera High Definition Digital Holy Vision (HDDHV). Kirk Cameron will play Lawrence.

"Until you see these dirty penises entering him from every imaginable angle, how can you understand the true nature of Arabs?"

Of additional interest is news that Gibson has already set his sights on his next project, one that might bring more controversy.

Reached for comment via a publicist, Gibson's co-star in the "Lethal Weapon" series, Danny Glover, confirmed that he had been approached by Gibson about a part in another upcoming Gibson film. "He wants me to play Moses in a musical version of the Ten Commandments called 'A Perfect Ten.'"

"The script is odd," noted Glover. "It portays Pharoah as a victim of the Jews. He wants to free the slaves but the Jews are pressuring him to keep themselves enslaved."

Glover provided AFG with an excerpt from the script that reads as follows:

PHAROAH: This Moses wants you to be free.

CROWD OF JEWS: No!

PHAROAH: But he says "let my people go!"

CROWD OF JEWS: No way! We want to stay in slavery!

[CAMERA PANS FROM CROWD TO CRYING PHAROAH]

PHAROAH: But I don't want to keep enslaving you!

CROWD OF JEWS: Enslave us! Enslave us! Enslave us!

When reached for comment, Gibson's publicist said "How do you know it didn't happen like that?"

"Mel wants to show how Moses saved the Jews from themselves. It was very heroic."