Saturday, August 26, 2006

La Kookoo Bastard

EL PASO, TX – To any casual obsever walking the city streets of this Texas town, it's business as usual. While media-hyped tensions over immigration continue to mount, residents here say there's work to be done and little time to ponder when immigration issues will be addressed by the U.S. government.

So it's easy to understand why they might not recognize one face among the many Mariachi bands that play for change on the city streets – the face of CNN's Lou Dobbs.

Yes, Dobbs has taken his obsessive fight against illegal immigration to a new level, infiltrating the Mexican-American community by posing as a Mariachi musican.

"When first I saw him, I just thought he was a particularily ugly light skinned Latino," explained Salvador Perez. "But then Pedro told me he was that fat bastard from the television!"

AFG attempted to communicate with Dobbs but the CNN commentator refused to acknowledge his true identity. Dobbs would only say, "Yo no speako Englisho" in response to our questions.

A CNN representative did acknowledge that "Lou is on America's other frontline – deep under cover – rooting out those who have taken advantage of our broken borders.

"Robert Rodriguez, maverick director of the the fim "El Mariachi", was unimpressed with Dobb's efforts, weighing in from the set of his new film, "Tequila, Orgías Y Explosiones."

"If I was directing him, he'd have screwed seven prostitutes, blown up a canteena and spat in the boss man's face by now! That's infiltration."

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are you the singing bush?

Anonymous said...

Jefe, would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?

Anonymous said...

In a way, each of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo.

Anonymous said...

My little buttercup has the sweetest smile.

Dylan Hobbes said...

I am not the kind of a guy who would tell another guy that he had a plethora, if in fact I did not.