Bush's "Sensual Massage"

NEW YORK -- An impromptu sensual massage that President George W. Bush gave German Chancellor Angela Merkel has led to calls for Bush to change his professional occupation - and to get laid.

A 5-second video and series of photographs recently posted on YouTube.com and various blogs show Bush surprising Merkel at the G-8 Summit by quickly rubbing the back of her neck, shoulders, inner thighs, feet and genetalia. The chancellor immediately leans back in her chair, begins moaning, throws her legs up and shouts "Yes, yes!" then appears to be dissapointed as Bush walks away.

"It appears we've found something he's good at," commented Democratic National Chairman Howard Dean. "I think sensual massage is his true calling."

Earlier this week, AFG reported Bush was recorded using sexual language while discussing the Mideast with British Prime Minister Tony Blair. All of which is also causing world leaders to ask whether or not the President is getting enough at home. "We all saw what happened with Clinton when he wasn't getting satisfied," explained an anonymous White House source.

Even actor John Travolta, vacationing on Scientologist Island, weighed in. "I'm feeling kind of tired myself - I could use a foot massage..."