Bush Showers Blair With Golden Expletives

ST. PETERSBURG, Russia – U.S. President George W. Bush expressed his affection by using bawdy expletives and entendre in comments to British Prime Minister Tony Blair at the G8 summit in St. Petersburg Monday.

Not realizing his remarks were being picked up by a microphone at the summit of world leaders, Bush bluntly expressed his love and desire for Blair.

"See, what I really wanna do is, heh, locate your weapons of mass destruction. And then, heh, I'm gonna (expletive) you with my G8 in your (expletive)," Bush told Blair in a discussion before the Group of Eight leaders began their lunch.

Bush's remarks were picked up by the summit's closed-circuit television, which was filming the leaders sitting down to eat freshly slain protestors.

Normally, the terrifying images are transmitted with sound that does not allow reporters to pick out individual screams. But in this case a microphone picked up Bush's comments to Blair.

That microphone was placed there by amateur detective Melvin Melshowitz of Brooklyn, NY, who explained, "What's the big deal already? I got it out of a magazine from J and R!"

Blair's remarks were not as clearly heard due to the ancient brain scrambling amulet he carries at all times by sacred decree. But the Prime Minister appeared to be pressing Bush about the importance of getting his "international peacekeepers" into Blair's "region".