NEW YORK CITY - The Cryogenic Foundation today announced another triumph in it's ongoing efforts to preserve the minds and bodies of some of America's most beloved figures.
With funding from Disney's ABC subsidiary, the Foundation has succesfully implanted Dick Clark's cadaver with full animatronic capability. "America and the world will continue to enjoy Dick Clark's talents on New Year's Eve," said Henry Gale, head scientist at the Foundation.
Clark apparently died earlier this year, but Disney kept his death hidden from the public until this week. With this successful animotronic cadaver, ABC will announce Clark's death in advance of the cadaver's appearance in this year's "Rockin Eve."
"We think it will be a great show," said Phil Rosentein, Rockin Eve's producer. "No other New Year's Eve show will be hosted by an animatronic corpse. It's truly historical."
Unfortunately, the Cryogenic Foundation was not able to replicate its success on Walt Disney's corpse, which has been housed there since he died in 1966. "We tried, but his left arm, both ears, and nose fell off," explained Gale. "Even in a super-cooled environment, his body did deteriorate over the years."
Michael Jackson's former lips were unavailable for comment.