Thursday, February 01, 2007

So Fresh and So Clean: Biden Plays Outkast Card!

ATLANTA – Senator Joseph Biden expected to announce his candidacy for President last week to great fanfare, but reporters and supporters got more than they bargained for when Biden instead stirred up a furor by reffering to candidate Barak Obama as "fresh and clean" compared to previous african american candidates.

Today Biden revealed that he was speaking in a vernacular he expected American African Americans to understand.

"I'm down with black people," Biden told reporters, "and I'm down with Outkast. African Americans know that I meant so fresh and so clean (clean). I could have just have easily said he was my nigga, aint none bigga! Black people get me, get used to it!" Biden then dipped hungrily and with ruthless abandon into a bucket of KFC chicken: "See muthafuckas!?"

The Rev. Al Sharpton, reached for comment by AFG, seemed confused by Biden's comments.

"Andre 3000 and I hang all the time at our favorite hair salon in Atlanta and to my knowledge, the band does not think of Joe as their brutha from another mutha, their nigga, or even their homey."

This is only the latest desperate effort by Biden at damage control. On Thursday Biden claimed the statements where actually part of a new comedy routine, originally expected to be unveiled in a alleged forthcoming "The Kings Of White Northeastern Political Comedy" film. When pressed to produce evidence of the film's existence, Biden instead went into his "routine" again for reporters, apparently to prove his point.

"Welcome, ladies and germs...," Biden began. "Take Hilary Clinton...PLEASE! No, seriously folks, how bout that Iraq war policy? We don't get no respect I tell ya, no respect at all."

Things then degenerated into what was reffered to by reporters and attendees as a "madcap rant". Derek Andrews of The Miami Urban League was one of the officials present.

"Was that shit supposed to be funny? Cause I wasn't laughing."


Hunter said...

Me and you, Joe Biden and your cousin too
Rollin down the strip on vogues
Comin up slammin Cadillac doz (doors)

Joe said...

Got stopped at the mall the other day

Heard a call from the other way,

Tom Carper was sayin somethin
talkin bout "Hey man, you remember me from work?"

Naw not really but he kept smilin like a clown facial expression lookin silly

And he kept askin me, how did you vote, I know you paid
I know you got buku hoes from all your elections

And I replied that I had been goin through tha same thing that he had

True I got more fans than the average man but not enough loot to last me

to the end of the week, I live by the beat like you live check to check

If you don't move your feet then I don't eat, so we like neck to neck

Yes we done come a long way like them Slim ass cigarettes

from Virginia, this ain't gonna stop so we just gonna continue