CRAWFORD, Texas – For days the nation has stood in wait as President Bush has spent time with his War Cabinet, assembled to review and plan for the next stages of the Iraqi war.
But today news came that the entire enterprise was a case of mistaken identity. It turns out Bush's enthusiasm is actually for a new piece of furniture he'd bought himself for Christmas.
Bush explained to dumbfounded reporters at his Crawford ranch: "I've been good and Santa got it for me. Y'know, heh, Santa. See, I got a lot of papers and stuff from the war. I need a place to put 'em so I can, y'know, have my libraries and, um, meditate upon my creations. I also got some good war material - historical documents and references - stuff I need to be the decider."
A quick look at the cabinet by AFG revealed numerous copies of DC Comics' Sgt Rock, hand written war meeting doodles and poorly drawn pictures of Condaleza Rice with the word "boobies" scrawled in the margin, a Top Gun DVD, several copies of Mad Libs for Lil Cowboys, and strangely, a Fried Green Tomatoes audio book.
When challenged as to the meetings he had been attending to plan out the future in Iraq, the President seemed confused.
"That's when I'm a cowboy! I tune everything out and I go to my special place."