Dean Invites Clinton, Kerry, Gore to "Lock In"

WASHINGTON DC – A personal invitation has surfaced from Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean to Sen. Hilary Clinton, John Kerry and former Vice President Al Gore. The invitation asks the trio to join Dean for a "lock in meeting, to be held in a secret underground facility."

"You three are clearly the future of the Democratic party - and we must give the people what they want. Hence this lock-in. If I run a little late, please just go on down there and make yourselves comfortable. I'll be back in a couple of um, hours. And have some food, something to drink - there's enough stuff down there to last several years."

Reports suggest that all three leading Democratic candidates for the next Presidential election are attending the meeting. An unamed source within the Kerry camp elaborated: "John is still perplexed as to what happened in the last election and he feels that he deserves the nomination. So based on that all of us are encouraging him to go."

Meanwhile, a Gore spokesman said that the VP was already "sizing up historical beards in case it takes a while" and an equally anonymous Clinton source told AFG that "she'll be there. She assumes the purpose of this is to get the other guys under wraps - and no one here is saying otherwise."

Sanctimonious whiner Joe Leiberman was notably absent from the invitation. A Dean aide explained including him would be "cruel and inhumane" punishment of the others.